Beauty! More Like Beast!
by naminori o2
Summary: "Seriously, China. Beauty? More like Beast." Gintama-Okita/Kagura fic.


**Disclaimer: I do not own GinTama. This is merely a fanfiction.**

"Why am I broke? Ah…"

"I was tricked by those machines again... Fuck it." Gintoki muttered miserably while flipping through the channels of their old television set. Seeing no 'interesting` TV programs to entertain him, he threw the remote on the ground, feeling lazy to even turn off their poor, old TV.

"I'm hungry." He muttered to no one.

Determined to fill his empty, grumbling stomach, he set his journey to their kitchen to raid their fridge for any 'possible edible' stuff the contraption contain. Unfortunately, opening the fridge is rather the worst thing he did this morning.

Why?

Seeing that only pitchers of water are the only stuff inside the poor fridge, he irritably closed the door hard.

Hard enough to knock the condiment bottles above the said fridge, spilling the contents all over his face. Due to heaven's trick, Tobasco sauce got into his dead fish eyes, burning its way to his eyes' nerves. Ouch. What a great misfortune, indeed.

"Ahh! Shinpachi! Kagura! Tasukete kudasai (1)!" he screamed for help, frantically rubbing his burning eyes. Remembering the other two Yorozuyas' absence, he made his way to his desk for any wet tissues the desk hides.

Since he is in a hurry, and not to mention has a blurry vision, he tripped over the remote he laid on the floor a while ago knocking a few things from his desk. Muttering a few curses, he held to the first thing he reached which is a water bottle he knocked from the said desk.

"Yes! Mizu!" he yelled happily, taking off the cap and pouring water to his red eyes.

Regaining composure, he glared at the culprit, which is their old remote, ready to murder the said thing until…

"Are you broke and in need of immediate money?"

Gintoki's eyes snapped to the television, interested with the flashy commercial in the screen.

"Have you lost all your money at the pachinko house?"

Gintoki nodded.

"Do you know any girls around 14 years old? Then this may be the good opportunity for you!" the voice boomed.

Gintoki furrowed his eyebrows. What the hell is this commercial? Some old creep looking for young girls? He thought curiously.

"We are looking for the next Ms. Kabuki-cho! For girls 14-16 years of age, with a pleasing personality and brains. YOU CAN BE THE NEXT PRINCESS!"

Gintoki was about to turn off the TV when suddenly…

"Consolation prize is \20000!"

He returned his eyes to the TV.

"I repeat! The winner will receive \100,000 and two tickets to Edo Chisneyland (2)!

The first runner up will receive \60,000 and a brand new SONY PZ3!

The second runner up will receive \40,000 and \20,000 worth of gift checks to Trial (3)!"

A set of numbers flashed in the screen.

"For more inquiries, just call…"

Gintoki hurriedly grabbed their telephone, frantically pressing the numbers flashed in the commercial.

"Her name is Kagura." Gintoki said with dead fish eyes in 'ka-ching!' mode. After confirming the registration to the said contest, Gintoki finally hanged up, grinning widely. Not so long after realization struck him.

"Oh, shit. We're so screwed."

Gintoki's grin faltered, frown replacing the smile.

"What the hell Gin-san! You did this to Kagura-chan for the sake of money?" Shinpachi screeched at him. "I can't believe you!" he added, shaking his head.

"But it's \100,000." Gintoki said casually. "And you should believe in Kagura-chan. I believe she is the best role model for all the tweens and teens in Kabuki-cho."

Shinpachi smacked Gintoki in the head, tears falling dramatically.

"That's our problem, Gin-san! The pleasing personality thingie! Sure,Kagura-chan's pretty cute but… She… She acts like a sleazy old man!" Shinpachi pointed out, still glaring at him. "Like you." He muttered under his breath.

Gintoki smacked Shinpachi back, glaring back at him.

"Urusai you four-eyed freak! Just call your aneue and have her help us." Gintoki ordered Shinpachi, expecting him to do it. Instead, Shinpachi stomped off to their door, heading to who-knows-where.

"Do it yourself, you perm-headed shit." Shinpachi said to him, wiping tears from his eyes. "I'm gonna do some shopping." He yelled over his shoulder.

"Oh, I almost forgot." He added. "You should be the one to break the news to Kagura-chan as soon as she goes back."

"Good Luck…" his voice trailed off.

**A/N**:

Tasukete kudasai – Help me

Chisneyland is well… a spin-off from Disneyland.

Disneyland – ヂスニァンド

Chisneyland –チスニァンド

See, the only difference is the `` in チ.

TRIAL is a big grocery store we usually go grocery-shopping to.


End file.
